Friday, 8 June 2007


I open the door and stop dead. The world tilts. I suddenly feel extremely dizzy. Putting my hand out, I lean against the door frame to try to remain upright. I close my eyes tightly, trying to fight the overwhelming sensation of lightheadedness that attacks me. I don’t succeed. With a soft moan, my knees buckle and I fall down to the ground. This cannot be happening to me.

I slowly raise my eyes to the scene before me. My mind struggles to make sense of the picture my eyes are delivering to it. I wonder if it’s a hallucination…a delusion. I shake my head gently trying to get rid of the image, but it remains as it is. She remains in his arms. They remain in a position that no casual friends should be in.

I wonder what I should do now. I need an answer…a clarification of what I am seeing. My eyes find his. I search for an explanation in them, but I find none. Instead, I see shame, embarrassment, and guilt. But most of all, I see fear…pure fear. I smile. Had I looked in a mirror at that moment, I would have been alarmed by my own reflection. But I didn’t need to. The expression on their faces told me all that I needed to know.

The love of my life…and my best friend…how nice…

Still smiling, I get up, turn around, and walk out of the room towards the kitchen. I head towards the kitchen door and pick up an object from behind it. Its heavy for my small frame, but my anger gives me strength. I wait.

He does exactly what I expected him to do. He leaves her and follows me into the kitchen. Cautiously, he approaches my turned back and utters my name softly. I don’t respond. I wait for him to get closer. He takes a few more steps towards me until he’s a few inches away. I react. Turning around swiftly, I raise the baseball bat up high and bring it crashing down on the side of his head, with a force beyond that of what I should be capable of. A brief look of surprise enters his face, and then his eyes role back into his head as he collapses. His head hits the ground with a hard thump as I make no attempt to break his fall. I am smiling no more.

Leaving him in a spreading pool of blood, I leave the kitchen and walk into the living room once more. I study the pathetic creature that is cowering in one corner of the room. She had heard the thud, and upon seeing the baseball bat in my hands, she put two and two together. I stand there and watch as comprehension enters her face. She begins to tremble visibly.

The fool, had she stood up and tackled me, she would have won. She was both taller and bigger, and it wouldn’t have taken much effort to pin my small body to the ground. But the look in my eyes and the expression on my face had her frozen in her place.

It isn’t long before she starts pleading and begging for her life. I know that I can’t just walk up to her and strike her, because she would block the hit if she saw it coming. I don’t have the element of surprise on my side, as I had with him. So I change tactics. I play defeat. I play the card of pity and mercy. Allowing my eyes to fill with tears and my lips to quiver, I lower the bat to an unthreatening position. I see her eyes following it and her body relaxes slightly under this false impression of hope.

‘Why?’ I ask in a voice on the verge of breakdown. I am well aware that the tone of my voice gives her a sense of more optimism. She starts to apologise. She begins stammering a justification…a plea. She begs for forgiveness. I step towards her slowly, as tears fall down my cheeks, and gaze down at her kneeling figure. She looks up at me with her big, tear filled eyes and a feeling of immense hatred over clouds my mind. Without hesitation or a sense of warning, I lift the bat once again and bring it smashing down on her head before she even realizes what was happening. She falls. I don’t stop. I hit her again and again and again…

I finally stop…unaware of how many times my bat made contact with her head or body. She looks a mess. Breathing hard, I bend down and feel her wrist for a pulse. There is none. I stand up once more and allow the bat to fall out of my hand. I walk towards the phone and dial for an ambulance. I feel exhausted.

With one last glance towards the mangled body of my best friend, I approach the front door and leave the house. I hear the sound of a distant siren as I walk away towards nothingness…I smile.